you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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