either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
