dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I pour the whiskey from now on
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
