An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
