Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
