big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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