you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Dignity is for republicans.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
