She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
