you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We're too hungover to prance.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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