you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
