the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
This house was built for laser tag.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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