i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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