im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
