My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
