I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Randomize
