I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
