I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
