I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
