"it" just moved
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
