i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
