I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Randomize
