It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I didn't notice because vodka
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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