I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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