I'm really into asian looking animals
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
