just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
