I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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