SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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