I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
