I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
