Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
