It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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