i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
