i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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