Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
