Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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