I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
