69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
