this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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