I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
