Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
