I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
