We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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