ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
