is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
