Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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