Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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