so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
