so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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