Non-Jews are for practice
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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