He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
