There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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