It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
